... Children's Energy and Play

Play and Emotional Freedom Techniques with Children and Families
by Mary Hammond MA Licensed Professional Counselor in Oregon
Consultant, Member, Board of Directors and
Diplomate, Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology (energypsych.org)
Registered Play Therapy Supervisor

Play therapy was my initial therapy model with children. It is still miraculous to me to watch a child, young or old, naturally choose play materials, without suggestion from me, that will cause the necessary regression to create healing from trauma. Working through the trauma simply with play could be slow and painful; however, and I have been excited with the results now that I combine play therapy with energy psychology which speeds up the results for the children and their families by about sixty per cent. Children I used to have in therapy for a year now need about four months, and children with more severe trauma that I used to have in therapy for three years are now in therapy for about one year.

I am a great proponent of play as child therapy (Schaefer, Hammond-Newman 1992) because it is more natural for them than talking and acts as an induction to the origins of their trauma.

Energy Psychology especially EFT and DEH have assisted the children and families that I work with in simple matters such as tantrums, simple phobias and compulsions to more complex matters such as saving the sanity of several families that adopted� traumatized children, and saved a family's life that was caught in domestic violence. Children also improve social skills, and raise their grades and reading abilities, and increase their performance abilities in the arts and sports.

During the play and art sessions in a special room in my office as the children draw and play through their fears and grief stricken moments, we will pause and tap on the heart center or meridian points. Instead of all of the resolution of the trauma having to be accomplished through the expressive therapies, a substantial portion is resolved through the energy system.

EFT, as we abbreviate Emotional Freedom Techniques (emofree.com) was taught as part of my comprehensive energy psychology training more than a decade ago. I was fortunate to follow that with intensive training with Gary Craig, the EFT developer, and many EFT teachers over the years. I use EFT daily in my private practice in Salem, Oregon. The meridian points as diagrammed here activate the body's healing wisdom as taught in Chinese Medicine, Qui Gong, Yoga, etc. This energy then carries healing to the body, the emotions, limiting thoughts, and the auric field which surrounds the body. The body's energy field is electromagnetic and "conducts" vibratory waves throughout the body and energy field.

When I sought this training I was all ready a seasoned therapist, and was looking for methods to heal those recalcitrant issues in mental health. Trauma walked into my office daily, and although many got better it was not our expectation in mental health that people would get entirely well, and powerful medications were the treatment of choice. Emotional Freedom Techniques and other energy psychology methods are changing that.

EFT have assisted the children and families that I work with in simple matters such as tantrums, simple phobias and compulsions to saving a family's sanity that had adopted a traumatized child, and saved a family's life that was caught in domestic violence. Children also improve social skills, and raise their grades and reading abilities, and increase their performance abilities in the arts and sports.

SIMPLE PHOBIAS

Roger Callahan PhD (Callahantechniquestm), Gary Craig's original teacher put meridian points on the therapy map with his book, The�Five Minute Phobia Cure. Kids have many fears or phobias some warranted, some not, but all should be taken seriously. Yes, in five sometimes stretched to ten minutes, I have watched children from five to fifteen dissolve their fears of ants in the bathtub, walking across bridges, riding on elevators and escalators, their dark rooms at night, and loud noises by tapping on the EFT meridian points. You might be thinking that children for generations have grown up with those fears and they usually work through them naturally by the time they are grown. However, there are some phobias that can be life saving; for instance the fear of water.

My daughter, Amber was very afraid to learn to swim. by adding muscle testing to EFT we determined that she had a soul experience where she had drown. Some people interpret these soul experiences as past lives, some as metaphors or archetypes. However one views this when this material is accessed and EFT is introduced the healing is remarkable. Amber and i in a dreamtime state"remembered" being mother and daughter and as a toddler she drowned right in front of me. We tapped on the meridian points, I cried, and soon the experience was neutral for both of us. Amber has not been afraid of the water since this session five years ago, and has gone on to be a strong swimmer.

TANTRUMS AND ATTACHMENT

Johnnie had been abused physically, perhaps sexually and neglected in the first couple of years of his life, and was then moved to two different foster families by the time he was six. he was adopted by a lovely caring family with older children who desired to give Johnnie a second chance. They had not been informed by the adoption agency about reactive attachment and were very surprised when after a year or so in their care that Johnnie began having tantrums at eight years old. Reactive attachment means when a hurt child attempts to attach to a parent they react from their place of pain and without intervention block the love. We worked in my play therapy room with the toys of healing-- dolls, trucks, blocks and sand. He would play the things he missed as a toddler and pre-schooler, and then we would tap on the meridian points regarding his sadness and rage. He resisted being cuddled at home. Closeness brings up memories of abandonment and pain for little ones who have been abused, so it is just safer not to feel close. I asked him and his mom to "practice" cuddling and to tap at home if he felt afraid or mad. He was successful at this sometimes. He played and tapped and played and tapped. He reduced his tantrums from once a day lasting 30 minutes or more to one or two a month lasting about ten minutes. I also worked with Mom. Her story is next.

This kind of therapy before I found EFT used to take three years plus and was not always as successful as I experience with the addition of energy psychology methods such as EFT. With EFT and other energy psychology interventions and the participation of brave parents in their children's healing attachment work is only taking about nine months.

PARENTS AS PARTNERS IN HEALING

Whether it is a simple issue that takes only a few sessions or more complicated work like abuse, parents are essential in the healing process. Birth and adoptive parents share an energy field with their children. So, when parents work on their blocks and issues there is automatic healing for their children. One must think about this energetically. We do EFT on the premise from energy psychology that thoughts and feelings are energy. Johnnie's mother had an estranged relationship with her mother which came up to heal as we worked together. In addition Johnnie's reactions caused her to feel hesitant and inconfident in her parenting. So while Johnnie was feeling and carrying the energy of hurt and fear and yet acting angry, Mom was carrying the energy of estrangement, hesitancy and lack of confidence. We worked together on her patterns in relationships and her style in parenting with counseling and tapping, and soon she reported feeling strong and confident and loving with Johnnie. Cuddling no longer took practice.

Sally was fourteen when she married her twenty eight year old husband. Imagine his motives and imagine the parents who allowed this marriage. By the time i met Sally she was twenty six with two children, and she had a new step-mom who could easily see how awful and abusive this situation was.

Step-mom paid for treatment and Sally spent three to four months tapping about the past, her terror, and the impact on her children, and her hope for a better life. She got stronger and stronger.

CHILDREN IN DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Research in the last decade shows that children who witness violence grow up with as sever post trauma as children who are abused. Her two girls 11 and 5 came in with her and drew pictures and talked and tapped of their fear of their father, his drinking, drugs and abuse of their mother. Mom could not deny their terrified faces and blood in the drawings. They cried and tapped together. The children came in together and individually to play and draw and tap about their fears,� their grief at not having a normal father, and their hope for escape.

Sally's step-mom called me four months after our initial session to say they had escaped, they were in another state, Sally had a job and no one knew where they were! domestic violence cases prior to EFT had often taken years for escape to occur or there was no escape and they simply stopped coming to sessions. I cried when I hung up the phone after talking with step-mom. The power of these tools for change, I knew, were unlike anything I had ever experienced.

Four years later I ran into step-mom at a local restraunt. She said Sally and the kids were well and safe. Sally had moved up in her company, and had also met a wonderful and kind man.

THE LIGHTER SIDE

Most children come to me from rather functional families with normal family "stuff". They are upset about divorce or a parent's rules. Some have social or learning problems.

Ted came in when he was 12, a high functioning autistic child, who had trouble making friends and difficulty with reading. We tapped about his insecurities, feeling different, fear at talking with people. We uncovered some depression and tapped on some unconscious death wishes. Soon he reported no depression, greater ease at talking with friends at school, and increased reading scores.

Jill was eight and dyslexic. We added an energetic intervention for neurological disorganization to the EFT repertoire and in just a few months of daily energetic practice, the words on the page were turning around. By the end of the school year her reading scores were up two grade levels!

Ted was sixteen and came for a variety of teen issues. I taught him to use the under nose point for his golf game as a member of his high school golf team. he reported significantly increased scores.

EFT gives therapy a positive spin. We can tap into faith, hope, confidence, joy and love.